January 31, 2016

The Katt's Pajamas

I've been thinking about making Katt Funny merchandise for awhile now.  It's time to get my face out there more.  Here are some ideas I've been playing with:

1.  The Katt Funny Tee-Shirt Collection:
"What's black and white and red all over?"
You just want to move that strand of hair out of place, don't you. 
 2.  In honor of being from Portland, Oregon, the Katt Funny Hoodie Collection:
The classy, formalwear hoodie
The Unisexual Hoodie
 3.  That Katt Funny Men's Workout Tank-Top:
Which is the closest I'll ever get to working out.  
4.  The Katt Funny Sleepwear Collection:
"Hzz Shoo..mememememe"

To be followed by the...

5.  The Katt Funny Morning Face Collection:
"Have I had my coffee yet?  Does it fucking look like it?!"

Multiple Personality Disorders

In honor of Mental Health Awareness month...which is actually May (yay, May!),  I made a photo collection called:
 "The Kitty Litter-box of Personality Disorder". 

1. First, we have Antisocial Personality Disorder, otherwise known as "sociopathy". 
"Yo!  Got any crank?  Let's go rape stuff."
2.  Next, we have paranoid personality disorder. 
"Get out of my head, Boo Berry!"
3. Here is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, otherwise known as a "God Complex". 
"My name is David Koresh.  I'm like Charles Manson, only creepy."
"Guess what?  God has a David Koresh complex."
4.  Histrionic Personality Disorder is, like, the sexy one.
"What?  Even histrionics need potassium."
5....and Borderline Personality Disorder, which is the one either your bitchy co-worker or psycho family member has:  
"Pet me, or I will kill myself!"

January 9, 2016

The Katt Funny Tag

Your grandmother called it the "number sign".
Your mother calls it the "pound key".
Your teenager is calling it the "hashtag".  

Personally, I call it "capital three".  That's because to write it with a keyboard, it's shift plus the number three.

The purpose of a hashtag is to label and connect things online.  Like, everyone interested in discussing poop would make the hashtag #poop, and then they'd be connected to the same page.

Make sense?  If not, you know, there is Google.  Just saying.

As I'm working on rewriting the memoir from five years ago, I've been pandering my ass online in order to create an audience.  A few months ago, I came across hashtag games, which are a brilliant way to not only show off my goods, but to connect with others in writing and comedy.

For a description of hashtag games, The Huffington Post gives a good explanation.

I started my own game called "The Katt Funny Tag" in order to get my name and face out there more.  So far, the only prize has been my praise.  My next step is to show them off in a blog post...because that's also free.

Here are some posters advertising the tag:

October 19, 2015

Naked and Unshamed

Playboy is getting rid of their nude photos.  I guess I'm going to have to find another way to support free speech without my clothes on.  

My First Nudie Pic

That's me and Linda Sir at Seven Sacred Pools in Maui.
She accused me of desecrating it when she saw little poops float by.  

October 12, 2015

Happy Columbus Day!

My dad was Cherokee.  His father was allegedly full Cherokee, and his mother probably half.  Her mother, Great-grandma Teeters claimed to not be Native American, but she has been described to me by different people as, "The most Indian looking woman you had ever seen."  

The story I've heard about dad's family history is this:

Grandpa Adams was a bootlegger.  He and granny ran off from Oklahoma to Los Angeles in order to evade law enforcement.  The feds found them and, because it was wartime, offered Grandpa this deal:  prison or the navy.  Grandpa chose the navy.  Then he worked at the General Motors plant.

My dad had blue eyes.  I asked my aunt about this after he died, and she explained that we come from a slutty, slutty people.  Other tribes in Oklahoma make fun of the Cherokee because so many of them are blond and blue eyed. 

...and that, children, is the story of how Christopher Columbus brought syphilis back from the New World.  

Dr. Sam Adams (1946-2007)