September 6, 2015

No-Budget Porno

I'm still stuck at home recovering from knee surgery.  I thought I had bought two weeks worth of food, but I forgot that I have to be force fed vegetables.  It turns out, I had five days worth of food, plus garnish.  

Today I ordered a pizza.  Let me try that again.  Today I ordered two pizzas.  Normally the delivery guy is a rotund, middle-aged, peg-legged gentleman in Dahmer glasses. 

And normally, I look like this:

Taken yesterday.
For comparison, this is Jenna Jameson, most celebrated female porn star in history:
Also, most celebrated pizza delivery customer.
This is what greeted the adorable, twenty-four year old, lanky dreamboat who brought my pizza: 

He was about a foot taller than I am and smelled like delicious pizza.
Our sexy dialogue went like this:

Pizza delivery kid:  Hey, you really know how to order pizza!  You got the apple pies and the chocolate-chip brownies too.

Katt:  Shut up.