Showing posts from October 3, 2009

Full of Hot, Filtered Water

People get on my case for not having a "filter" when, indeed, I do have one.  What am I NOT saying?  Mostly it's just correcting people in my head and making zingers that would shame both of us if said out loud.   Here is some stuff I choked back in the past: *Turtles don't give birth, you idiot- they leg eggs.  If it gave birth, it'd have, like, 200 nipples.   *You're not deaf.  I know this because that is not sign language.  That is you flapping your hands around pretending you're signing.  It's about as similar as me pressing a doorbell and saying I'm speaking Vietnamese.  *Your stories now have officially contradicted each other.  So which time were you lying? *Yes you said it, and yes it was mean.  I don't need to defend myself, and if you want hallucinations instead of memories, be my guest, but I'm not going to reason with them.   *It's "between you and me" not "between you and I"!  "