Jason is the weirdest sleeper I've ever known. He thrashes around, sleeps on his hands and knees, and chatters. I started keeping a list of the things he says in his sleep.
1.) "I have to get a shower now and go to work. I love you with all my heart."
When I told him he said that, he replied, "I wonder who I was talking about."
2.) "We can steal cars and kill hookers in real life."
I woke him up and asked what the hell. He said that he was dreaming about playing Grand Theft Auto with his son Ben.
3.) "C'mere Barky! C'mere!"
Later I asked if he ever owned a dog named Barky. He hadn't. He's just terribly uncreative at pet names in his dreams.
4.) "Oh, poo."
5.) "Who's a good boy. Who's a good boy."
That's a nickname he gives Zach.
7.) "The girl in the boots doesn't know she's the dumbest kid in the class."
He said that it was from some Onion article about a girl worried about people cheating off her.
8.) "Hit control Z."
It was a dream about work. Then he woke up and went to work.
9) "Zachy Butt!"