Dream Catching

Jason is the weirdest sleeper I've ever known. He thrashes around, sleeps on his hands and knees, and chatters. I started keeping a list of the things he says in his sleep.

1.) "I have to get a shower now and go to work. I love you with all my heart."

When I told him he said that, he replied, "I wonder who I was talking about."

2.) "We can steal cars and kill hookers in real life."

I woke him up and asked what the hell. He said that he was dreaming about playing Grand Theft Auto with his son Ben.

3.) "C'mere Barky! C'mere!"

Later I asked if he ever owned a dog named Barky. He hadn't. He's just terribly uncreative at pet names in his dreams.

4.) "Oh, poo."

5.) "Who's a good boy. Who's a good boy."

6.) "Yack-Yack!"

That's a nickname he gives Zach.

7.) "The girl in the boots doesn't know she's the dumbest kid in the class."

He said that it was from some Onion article about a girl worried about people cheating off her.

8.) "Hit control Z."

It was a dream about work. Then he woke up and went to work. 

9) "Zachy Butt!"

10.) "Sleepy boy."

That's his phone in his hand. I'm glad that's the only thing in his hand.