Ow! My Lady Wiener!
I just had knee surgery. Since I had to throw out my pain medication because it was trying to Shanghai me and turn me into a ghost hooker, it has been an uncomfortable week.
Yesterday I was sitting on the futon binge watching “The Fall”, and I suddenly felt something downstairs, in my pee chamber. I went to the bathroom and discovered that not only did I have some major kidney stones, but I had not noticed them on their southern journey. That’s concerning. Maybe the whole area finally went on strike after years without a love-life. Sigh. Being chronically insulted by male rejection is one of my charming trademarks.
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| Meh. Even I'm not that into me. |
I continued birthing my private gemstone collection on and off for a few hours, then ran out of liquids that aren’t tap water, so I drove myself to the store to buy some diet cranberry juice. I hate drinking water- HATE IT. I would rather eat vegetables.
When I sat down in the car, a feral black cat came out of nowhere, jumped on me, and ran off. I screamed, and no one cared. Sigh. In the distance, I heard the cat cackling, as it shapeshifted into the Witch of Spinster Future, and across the face of the moon was the silhouette of her on her broom.
Today I feel the stones in me. I get several at a time, and I have heard women say that they hurt worse than childbirth, which I will just have to take their word for.