The Worst Has Finally Happened
I missed Free Slurpee Day at 7-Eleven. I ran in at 8pm, and the clerk said that it was already over. Then I walked into not one, but two spider webs. Then I realized that I forgot to put on underwear when I left the house.
The second worst course of events to ever happen to anyone ever, of all time in history, was when I stepped on a slug with my bare foot, put that bare foot in a boot which had a slug hiding in it, then went upstairs and took a bite of an apple and bit into a worm. Then I died inside. Then I came back to life.