Breakdown

Monday

(Katt has a meltdown to her friends.)

Katt:  Tell me I'm not old! 

Friends:  You're not old! 

Katt:  (Scowls)  Stop blowing sunshine up my ass.

Tuesday

(Katt has another meltdown, sits against her front door throwing shoes from the pile next to her, texting friends.)

Katt:  (via text)  Tell me I'm not old!  I can work out more, burn off more layers of skin, but I can't change my birthdate.  It's too late to start fresh.  What if I lose my sex appeal?  

Friends: (via text)  You're not old!  

Wednesday

Twentysomething Men on Tinder:  You're gorgeous!..What?...Um no, you're not old.  

Also Wednesday

(Katt at the doctor's office.)

Doctor: (points to x-rays)  You have early onset arthritis in both knees.  

Katt:  Goddammit.

(The End.) 

Epilogue

 Katt:  Told you so. 

I would like to thank Amazon for keeping me company while I waited in the exam room alone for what felt like an eternity.  They kept me there so long, I bought a mandolin online.  I have no idea how to play the mandolin. 

I also don't know how to play the Uke.  Guess what?  I don't really need glasses.  Katt Funny is my real name though.  Yep...born in 1982 in Kattmandoodie.