(Katt has a meltdown to her friends.)
Katt: Tell me I'm not old!
Friends: You're not old!
Katt: (Scowls) Stop blowing sunshine up my ass.
(Katt has another meltdown, sits against her front door throwing shoes from the pile next to her, texting friends.)
Katt: (via text) Tell me I'm not old! I can work out more, burn off more layers of skin, but I can't change my birthdate. It's too late to start fresh. What if I lose my sex appeal?
Friends: (via text) You're not old!
Twentysomething Men on Tinder: You're gorgeous!..What?...Um no, you're not old.
(Katt at the doctor's office.)
Doctor: (points to x-rays) You have early onset arthritis in both knees.
Katt: Told you so.
I would like to thank Amazon for keeping me company while I waited in the exam room alone for what felt like an eternity. They kept me there so long, I bought a mandolin online. I have no idea how to play the mandolin.
|I also don't know how to play the Uke. Guess what? I don't really need glasses. Katt Funny is my real name though. Yep...born in 1982 in Kattmandoodie.|