I Ruv U!

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HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE!!!

 The dog put a love letter on a napkin in mom's lunch. 

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 .  Last Saturday, I saw my niece Emmalie her middle school production of Dracula.   My favorite part was the witty banter between me and my older sister under our breaths.  We enjoyed the urbanized slang the upper middle-class white kids had thrown into the play to add a fresh, youthful perspective.  I could totally hear the "z" on the ends of words. During intermission, my sister worked the concession stand where they sold candy and carnations- because nothing says, "I felt obligated." like a carnation.  When I approached, a little Asian girl gave me her seat.  I was surprised by her manners (kids "these days" allegedly have none) and asked her, "Don't you want to sit?"  She shook her head, so I sat down.  I bought some Starbursts and offered her one.  She declined and I said, "Let me rephrase that.  Would you like some candy from a stranger?"  That got me a cute little smile back.  I asked where her mom was and when sh
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Munch much...what what? The other day Pivo and I were snuggling on the couch and I was chewing on his ear.  I do that sometimes when I'm trying to make a decision.  We were trying to decide the best way for him to meet his maker.   See, he bit my sister twice the other night and her hands look like puffer fish.  Usually when he bites her, I give him Snausages but my sister doesn't have insurance and the ER bills are expensive.   Also, I think his bathroom activity in the house is out of spite.  I noticed that he waits till we're inside before he makes his BMs.  Perhaps it's because he knows I'm plotting his death. So far we are considering making a snuff film, killing him Dexter style (with pictures of his poop in front of him to see what heinous crimes he has committed), murder/suicide pact, or a blindfolded game of William Tell.  This probably isn't funny to anyone who loves his/her dog, but Pivo is 9 years old and has bad arthritis. Oh
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