My Awesome Diet


After thirty, they come with ostrich feathers.  
Yesterday I ate split pea soup and a brownie sandwich (it was a sandwich because I put cream cheese between two brownies).  

 The day before that, I ate a pepperoni pizza and a batch of brownies.

Before that I ate...crap.  

Fuck you food pyramid.  
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Freelance humorist. I also document historic sites around me. During the Halloween season, I research and travel to supernatural places. My family loves history, and we go everywhere with our small children. I also host a long-running hashtag comedy game on Twitter.