No-Budget Porno
I'm still stuck at home recovering from knee surgery. I thought I had bought two weeks worth of food, but I forgot that I have to be force fed vegetables. It turns out, I had five days worth of food, plus garnish.
Today I ordered a pizza. Let me try that again. Today I ordered two pizzas. Normally the delivery guy is a rotund, middle-aged, peg-legged gentleman in Dahmer glasses.
And normally, I look like this:
This is what greeted the adorable, twenty-four year old, lanky dreamboat who brought my pizza:
Our sexy dialogue went like this:
Today I ordered a pizza. Let me try that again. Today I ordered two pizzas. Normally the delivery guy is a rotund, middle-aged, peg-legged gentleman in Dahmer glasses.
And normally, I look like this:
Taken yesterday. For comparison, this is Jenna Jameson, most celebrated female porn star in history: |
Also, most celebrated pizza delivery customer. |
He was about a foot taller than I am and smelled like delicious pizza. |
Pizza delivery kid: Hey, you really know how to order pizza! You got the apple pies and the chocolate-chip brownies too.
Katt: Shut up.