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October 12, 2015

Happy Columbus Day!

My dad was Cherokee.  His father was allegedly full Cherokee, and his mother probably half.  Her mother, Great-grandma Teeters claimed to not be Native American, but she has been described to me by different people as, "The most Indian looking woman you had ever seen."  

The story I've heard about dad's family history is this:

Grandpa Adams was a bootlegger.  He and granny ran off from Oklahoma to Los Angeles in order to evade law enforcement.  The feds found them and, because it was wartime, offered Grandpa this deal:  prison or the navy.  Grandpa chose the navy.  Then he worked at the General Motors plant.

My dad had blue eyes.  I asked my aunt about this after he died, and she explained that we come from a slutty, slutty people.  Other tribes in Oklahoma make fun of the Cherokee because so many of them are blond and blue eyed. 

...and that, children, is the story of how Christopher Columbus brought syphilis back from the New World.  

Dr. Sam Adams (1946-2007)

Linda Sir's Monkey Butler

I'm mom's chemotherapy date today.  

As I was bringing back lunch from the cafeteria, I chatted with a woman in the elevator who said, "I would hate to have my kids take care of me."  I snorted and said, "She loves it!  She gets to have me as her servant all day."  

I told my mom who decided that she must be a horrible woman to not want to make monkey butlers out of her kids.  At least, that's how I interpreted, "Can you get me some tea, honey?"

My mom, whom I also call "Linda Sir", has ovarian cancer and is currently in a clinical trial that helps prevent the tumor from growing.  So far, her labs have been stable, but today we found out that the tumor grew a little.  

Her chemo treatments take all day, so I found her some reading material in case she gets bored.  

"Oh my, well, now what do we have here?"
"Heaven's to Betsy!"