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September 30, 2015

Heh...I'm a Card.

I used to write Nathan Malachowski "I don't not love you" letters.  They sounded something like this:

Nathan,

I'm not sick of you.  Your presence doesn't make me vomit.  I hope you don't burn to death in a bathhouse fire.  I'm not dreading seeing you again.

Not hate,
Kat

Yeah, I'm a cut up. 

My friend from Iceland has pneumonia so I made him a card:
Specifically, rotten shark.
But my best work was when my BFF got laid off, so I sent her this:
While you're at it, get a haircut! 


It's Not Easy Being Green...

You know how people rave about the wonders of kombucha?  (hippies.)  I'm going to show you exactly what it tastes like.  


"Green sludge and vinegar?  Sounds like a taste sensation!"

"L'chaim!"
"omg...Son of a monkey's uncle!!!"

"Why would you do this to me?  
What kind of monsters are you?"
I kombuched the kombucha.