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July 11, 2015

The Worst Has Finally Happened

I missed Free Slurpee Day at 7-Eleven.  I ran in at 8pm, and the clerk said that it was already over.  Then I walked into not one, but two spider webs.  Then I realized that I forgot to put on underwear when I left the house. 
The only flavor they had left was sour grape.

The second worst course of events to ever happen to anyone ever, of all time in history, was when I stepped on a slug with my bare foot, put that bare foot in a boot which had a slug hiding in it, then went upstairs and took a bite of an apple and bit into a worm.  Then I died inside.  Then I came back to life.