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July 6, 2015

The Playmate of Humphrey

My mom just moved from the West Hills home she owned for over thirty years.  It's on Humphrey, in the Bridlemile school district.  Now, it's filled with kids, but back in the 80's, it was the Ribbon Candy District, and grandchildren visiting for the summer were stuck with me as their only playmate option. 

For a few years, there was a cute, good-natured redhead my age who lived down the street.  She was great with crafts, especially puff paints.  Eventually she and her puff paints moved closer to Bridlemile, and the ego-centric part of me wonders if it was so that she had more options in playmates.  

Her house was very modern and clean, with blue poles and grey knotted rugs.  Ours had beautiful pine floors that were usually dirty.  It's not that we were lazy- quite the opposite.  We were in school and played sports, and my older sister and parents were in school and working.  Sacrifices had to be made, like clean floors, and remembering to pick me up from soccer practice.  

Here's a list of the people who grew up in the Adams' House: 

Me:  35yrs  (neglected middle child)
Chris: +14yrs (technically 1/2 sister)
Scott: +2.5yrs
Carolyn: -6yrs
Mom:  +30yrs
Dad:  +34yrs  (deceased)

It feels violating that other people will be living in the house I grew up in.   


Which one am I?  I'm the one asking the security guard at the mall to page "Linda Adams".  

Drunk and Trigger Happy. Now I'm Coming for You.

During my mom's recent move from my childhood home, I got back my giant box of photos being stored in my old closet.  I was the only kid who had the same room the entire time.  I don't know why- they probably just forgot about me, subsequently forgetting the room existed.  More than once did they leave me at the grocery store on family vacations, all five of them oblivious for ten miles that I wasn't in the car.  

(Subsequently) half the photos are of me drinking.  Half of those photos are of me drunk in inappropriate places.  The rest are a hodge-podge of people whose named I have long forgotten, but I recognize as my Facebook friends.  Some are embarrassing attempts at artistic photography.  Some, the One Hour Photo people really shouldn't have developed- legally or morally. 

I'm going on a quest to find the people in the photos and send them a scanned copy.  Don't worry, I'm not going to tag terrible pictures of you and post them on your page- I hate it when people do that.  I'll contact you privately.  

So, heads up if you went to any of my schools, socialized with me drinking, or are a white bird in a gravel pit representing hope.


"Yes, one ticket to Zoo Lights, please."

Obviously I was making a statement about how peace is purposely blocked for monetary gain.