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November 12, 2009

Suspension


I walked into my high school physics class one day and there was a chair suspended from the ceiling.  The teacher needed a volunteer, and I needed the attention, so I sat in it demonstrating whatever the lesson was.  When I slid off of it, my skirt came up and my underwear could be seen through my sheer black stockings.  The chubby Asian kid in the front row said, "Ewwww!" and blocked his eyes.  Seriously.  He seriously did that.
At least not all chubby boys found teenage Kat repulsive. 

November 10, 2009

Things I Do Well

When I say "Slip into something more comfortable"...I mean footie pajamas.  You cornhusking simpleton. 

*Use grammar decently
*Look cute in pajamas
*Pick friends
*Listen to boring stories
*Pack lunches
*Eat crap
*Memorize boring details
*Remember trivia about the Yankees 
*Lower expectations
*Take the dog out
*Not sleep
*Make salads
*Bartend
*Cake eating contests
*Closet an addiction for almost 9 years.
*Chain smoke
*Love

Things I Do Like Shit

*Drive
*Eat healthy
*Not swear in front of kids
*Nurture
*Pay bills
*Clean my room
*Find my pilates arm band
*Send Christmas cards
*Defend my political views
*Flirt
*Healthy romantic relationships
*Platitudes
*Not overreact
*Wait patiently
*Cut brownies

November 1, 2009

(S)Carolyn


For Halloween I dressed up as my sister.  I'm serious.